the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize