I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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