I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
