i would punch a child for taco bell
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
