Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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