I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test