If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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