So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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