weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
