Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
