I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
