Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
