he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize