i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
