If that was your dad, he is hot
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Be still, my beating vagina.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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