Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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