And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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