The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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