as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize