Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
