sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
