Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Houston, we have a blender
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
