You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm both gender and math confused
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
