If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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