You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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