kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
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He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
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Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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