Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
