Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
