Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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