She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
my liver is dry heaving
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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