i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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