she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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