You don't have asthma, your pregnant
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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