i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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