I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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