SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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