He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have demons in me.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
