Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Boobs are out for the taking
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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