how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
