2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
