I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize