It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
