Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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