I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
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