we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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