Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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