once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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