Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize