Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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