I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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