Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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