he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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