I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
