Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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