Just fell off a train. Bad.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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