It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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