Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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