Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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