Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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