Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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